The Bystander
by ChaosPariah
Summary: Most of the people in Santa Destroy are assassins so they know about the league. But what about the rest of the people who have no idea what's going on? This is a story about one bystander who finds herself at the wrong place and ends up getting dragged into a world that she never imagined when she first moved to the city of Santa Destroy. This is about me in the world of NMH.


Well, that's not something I ever expected to see. I mean when you walk into someplace, you don't normally expect to see a guy on the ground bleeding from his stomach and another guy standing over him with a weapon that looks to be out of a Star Wars movie. My boss wanted me to come to the stadium to talk about my new job. He would never show.

Oh right, we haven't been introduced. My name is Mara, and I'm 23 years old. I currently live in the city of Santa Destroy but to be honest, I just moved here a few weeks ago from Maine. I was given an opportunity to become a partner for a well-known therapist in the city and saying goodbye to the east coast, I flew over and was eager to go. I found residence in this shabby motel called "No More Heroes" and I spent my days walking over to the local beach and grabbing a slice at Suplex Pizza. My office was next door to this video rental shop called Beef Head and I met the owner, Bishop, a couple of times for lunch to get acquainted with the neighborhood. I spent some time at Area 51 trying to get some new outfits for the area as Maine was too cold and I wasn't clothed right and as far as I knew, the crime rate wasn't so bad other than a few bad things here or there.

I never knew what was really going on.

Back to my current predicament. I looked over at the man carrying the lightsaber-looking weapon. He had on a red leather jacket and from what I could make out, he had yellow sunglasses on. His hair was jet black and it was spiked up in the front and he had on shabby looking jeans. I glanced over at the body in front of him on the pitcher's mound. The man had two golden guns in his hand and his face appeared to be worn but his eyes were closed. He had on a tan long coat and his hair was grey, complete with a thick imposing mustache. The man standing up looked over in my direction and began to walk over to me.

"You one of the association's flunkies?"

I looked to my left and right then pointed to myself.

"Yeah you, are you here from the association?"

"I'm sorry, what?" I took a step back but the man kept on coming closer to me. I ended up against the back wall, his lightsaber in my face.

The man raised his weapon closer, stopping short of grazing my nose. "If you're not from the association, then who are you?"

I looked around, trying to make sense of my situation. My head leaned backwards as I kept his weapon in my gaze.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about. I just moved here. Can you please get that out of my face?"

I let out a shriek as the man grabbed the collar of my black t-shirt. "You don't know? You don't know the UAA?"

"I don't know what you're talking about! My boss just wanted to meet me here. Please let me go!"

I felt the lightsaber inch a little closer when a voice came from the background.

"Travis! You are now Rank Nine. Congratulations!"

A woman walked over to us. She had pale skin and long blonde hair that was fastened into pigtails. She was wearing a black suit and a short black skirt but she gave me a strange vibe from the moment I looked at her.

"And who is this, Travis?" The woman asked. She had a thick accent when she spoke.

"Just some broad I found spying on me. She claims to have no idea about the association but I'm calling bull." He lowered his weapon and threw me backwards. I fell to the ground with a loud thud.

The woman turned to me. "Who are you?"

I stood up, dusting myself off. "My name is Mara. I'm a licensed therapist from the office near Beef Head. I just moved here a few weeks ago and my boss wanted to meet me here today. The thing is I just came in when I saw this guy," I pointed to the man with the lightsaber, "stab the other guy. It freaked me out. What's going on here? Who are you people?"

The woman sighed. "I am Sylvia Christel, ranking agent for the United Assassians Association."

Did I hear her right? "A-A-Assassins!?" I backed away.

The man smirked. "You heard her. Assassins. I'm aiming for the top. The name is Travis Touchdown, self-styled otaku and master of the beam katana."

I glanced over at the dead body. "Oh…I see." A knot formed in my stomach.

The woman took a look at me and paced back and forth. "Assassins compete to be the best and while it's well known among assassins, we tend to keep the public out of our battles for you see that would cause quite the predicament. But now we have a problem."

I stared at my watch and looked for the door. "What's the problem?"

Sylvia stopped pacing. "Whenever a person who is not from the league or even knows anything about the league discovers it, it's the Association's policy to make sure they don't talk. Ever." The woman grabbed a gun from her bag and aimed it at my head. "Sorry. But rules are rules."

Mom always said my bad luck would come back to haunt me but I never believed her. Maybe I should have listened.

"Wait!" came Travis' voice. "Let me ask her something."

Sylvia looked over at him. "What is the point, rules are rules."

"Just give me a minute, jeesh."

Travis looked at me. "Do you have any special talents?"  
I shook my head. "I'm a licensed therapist, but I can't cook very well, I'm not that great at cleaning and I'm not very athletic. Why?"

Travis walked back and forth for a few moments then stopped. He turned to Sylvia. "Spare her, I have a use for her."

Sylvia shook her head. "Unless it's a legitimate use, she can't live. So make it convincing otherwise I won't change my mind."  
Travis nodded and turned to me. "You say you're a therapist right? How old are you?"  
"23," I said weakly, eyeing the gun that was still in my face.

"I have an idea," he said to me. "Hear me out will you?"

"O…ok?" I replied.

"You have no clients other than me. Whenever I need you, you answer. If I need to go somewhere, you take me. You never interfere in my battles and you don't leave Santa Destroy unless you are approved to, am I clear?"

I thought of my family back in Maine and I closed my eyes. Did I really want to go through all of this? And then it hit me.

"I have one other talent."

Travis smirked and looked back at me. "Do tell."

"Well," I said. "I wanted to be a detective for a while so I can help you find out about your opponents, if you'll allow."

Travis turned to Sylvia. "Well, what do you say? Is that convincing enough?"

Sylvia looked back at me and I stood up, staring blankly at her. "If you want to prevent me from seeing my family though, might as well just kill me. I don't want to be without them."

The two of them stared at each other and turned to face me. "Are you fucking insane?" Travis said to me. "You have a chance to save your life. Don't blow it."

"What's the point?" I retaliated. "My father is dead, my parents are all alone out there, and my life hasn't been great anyway. So whatever. I'd rather die than never see them again."  
I crossed my arms and closed my eyes. I heard a clattering of high heels in front of me. "You are going to prove to be a troublemaker. Very well, you may leave Santa Destroy whenever you choose so long as you let us know beforehand, okay? But other than that the terms stand. You are now one of Travis Touchdown's team members."

My eyes opened to see her lower her weapon and the two of them went on to conversing in front of me. Letting out a sigh, I collapsed on the floor.

What the hell did I just get myself into?


End file.
